Sometimes you have to put your pride aside.
For nearly a year I have had very little contact with my mother. This was my decision. I don't approve of her boyfriend, who has a very shady past, and I have found him to be very manipulative. I will keep it at that as I can write another whole blog on this issue, and I am really trying to get past it.
For nearly a year I have been criticized by just about everyone who I have told about the entire situation. I don't think I was wrong, I stand by my decision and I would still be on that path had I not decided to put my pride aside and reach out to her for help (see previous blog).
Of course, her assistance came with "strings attached."
This made me very angry as I was trying to reach out to her, to put aside my pride, and to repair our relationship. She asked me to do the very thing that had pretty much created this rift in the first place.
So, I put aside my pride, and I put aside my anger (which was infinitely more difficult, especially since I have been off my antidepressant/antianxiety meds for a year and a half) because I NEEDED her help, Ronnie NEEDED her help, we NEEDED her help.
So, she helped us. She gave us enough money to pay our phone bill, so that Ronnie will be able to get a job. She brought us food from her freezer and fresh vegetables from her garden. She took us out to eat on Friday, and then invited us for dinner on Sunday. She asked her neighbor to help us replace our brakes when we couldn't do it ourselves and couldn't afford to pay someone to fix it. She even paid him to do it. She gave us more vegetables from her garden, she gave us pickled peppers, pickles, and sweet pickles.
Our satellite service is still going to be turned off this week. This makes me sad, as one of my favorite shows, HBO's TrueBlood has a second season starting on the 14th, I think. It also makes me sad as I don't know when we will be able to afford to have it reconnected. But, satellite is a luxury we cannot afford right now (although it seems such a waste and an insult to our 62" DLP television). But, we have tons of movies and video games, and can still get the network channels, no matter how ugly the picture is. The other thing I am having to give up is Netflix. My beautiful beautiful Netflix..... I would marry my Netflix if I could, I love it soo.... But then I know that is how Ronnie feels about the Satellite service, so I guess I can survive....
Back to the point, reconciliations with my mom.... It wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I was actually glad to talk to my mom and spend time with her. Pippin was thrilled to see Nana and spend time with her. Maggie was pleased to meet her for the first time. Both Pippin and Maggie loved her vegetable garden, and they both love eating cherry tomatoes from her garden.
My cat, Krycek, still lives there. When I got married and moved out, I couldn't bear to take him away from my brother, whom Krycek still believes hung the moon. I was really sad as I spent hours there, and I hoped he would show up so I could tell him I miss him, but he must be really upset with me. That, or the dogs really had him rattled....
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I think I am glad that I put my pride and my anger aside and have started to rebuild this relationship. Ronnie lost his mother about six months before we met, and I know I am fortunate that she is still in this world. Not everyone is as lucky as me.
For nearly a year I have had very little contact with my mother. This was my decision. I don't approve of her boyfriend, who has a very shady past, and I have found him to be very manipulative. I will keep it at that as I can write another whole blog on this issue, and I am really trying to get past it.
For nearly a year I have been criticized by just about everyone who I have told about the entire situation. I don't think I was wrong, I stand by my decision and I would still be on that path had I not decided to put my pride aside and reach out to her for help (see previous blog).
Of course, her assistance came with "strings attached."
This made me very angry as I was trying to reach out to her, to put aside my pride, and to repair our relationship. She asked me to do the very thing that had pretty much created this rift in the first place.
So, I put aside my pride, and I put aside my anger (which was infinitely more difficult, especially since I have been off my antidepressant/antianxiety meds for a year and a half) because I NEEDED her help, Ronnie NEEDED her help, we NEEDED her help.
So, she helped us. She gave us enough money to pay our phone bill, so that Ronnie will be able to get a job. She brought us food from her freezer and fresh vegetables from her garden. She took us out to eat on Friday, and then invited us for dinner on Sunday. She asked her neighbor to help us replace our brakes when we couldn't do it ourselves and couldn't afford to pay someone to fix it. She even paid him to do it. She gave us more vegetables from her garden, she gave us pickled peppers, pickles, and sweet pickles.
Our satellite service is still going to be turned off this week. This makes me sad, as one of my favorite shows, HBO's TrueBlood has a second season starting on the 14th, I think. It also makes me sad as I don't know when we will be able to afford to have it reconnected. But, satellite is a luxury we cannot afford right now (although it seems such a waste and an insult to our 62" DLP television). But, we have tons of movies and video games, and can still get the network channels, no matter how ugly the picture is. The other thing I am having to give up is Netflix. My beautiful beautiful Netflix..... I would marry my Netflix if I could, I love it soo.... But then I know that is how Ronnie feels about the Satellite service, so I guess I can survive....
Back to the point, reconciliations with my mom.... It wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I was actually glad to talk to my mom and spend time with her. Pippin was thrilled to see Nana and spend time with her. Maggie was pleased to meet her for the first time. Both Pippin and Maggie loved her vegetable garden, and they both love eating cherry tomatoes from her garden.
My cat, Krycek, still lives there. When I got married and moved out, I couldn't bear to take him away from my brother, whom Krycek still believes hung the moon. I was really sad as I spent hours there, and I hoped he would show up so I could tell him I miss him, but he must be really upset with me. That, or the dogs really had him rattled....
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I think I am glad that I put my pride and my anger aside and have started to rebuild this relationship. Ronnie lost his mother about six months before we met, and I know I am fortunate that she is still in this world. Not everyone is as lucky as me.
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