Update

I haven't been on here in a while, and I feel the need to post an update....

Ronnie still isn't working. He has a job interview tomorrow with Mission Glen Elementary to teach special ed, so please think good thoughts or send prayers his way. He is FINALLY collecting unemployment, but that is not indefinite, so he is working hard on getting gainfully employed. I wish there was more I could do to help him. I'm used to "taking care of" problems, but this is one problem I can't do anything about, and I feel so helpless.

I'm still talking with my mom. Not a huge fan of her boyfriend, but I tolerate him. He thinks I like him, but there's nothing wrong with that. ;) Now, there's drama with my brother Steven's girlfriend. I believe quite a bit of it has been created by mom's boyfriend, but I don't think SHE sees that. I do have some questions about Steven's girlfriend's motivation, but there's not much I can do about any of it. He's grown and makes his own decisions. Most people that know me think I am the older sibling, but I am not. He's twenty months older than me.

Financially, things are.... Well we have been keeping one step ahead of complete and utter disaster. We need about a thousand dollars to pay for Ronnie's COBRA payment for the past three months. Normally, I would just say forget it, but he was in the hospital with chest pains at the end of August, so we need to get him covered. My dad was supposed to send us some money, but we haven't gotten it, and he has his own problems right now, so I don't want to bother him about it. Someone turned us in for having a green pool, so now they want us to clean it up. We need a new pump, which we can't afford, so I am sure more fines are coming our way. Plus, the mortgage company is trying to increase our mortgage, which we can't afford. Our lawyers are attempting to fight it. We'll see what happens. Of course, our gas has been disconnected for over a month now, and we will need a deposit to get it reconnected -- which we don't have. So, cold showers for the discernible future.

I've been torn between two loyalties. One to my company, which hired me just in time for us to NOT lose the house, and more specifically, to my boss, who is the greatest most supportive boss a person could ask for. However, my OTHER loyalty is obviously to Ronnie and our family. I need to make more money, and I know there are jobs out there that pay more than my current position. So, after much reflection, I applied for a couple. I talked to my boss about it, and she understands where I am coming from and thinks that it would be good for me, but of course, she relies on me for a lot, so she would be disappointed to lose me. Anyhow, that was a week ago. I haven't heard from anything, so maybe it's a non-issue. Hopefully, Ronnie can get a job and I won't feel like I am being disloyal to him by staying here. I really don't want to leave Texana, but I really need to make more money.

Me and Ronnie have been going to church. For a while, it was mostly mass at the church I grew up in, the church my mom and brother are still members of. But, we have branched off and have gone to a couple of masses at a couple of churches. The one I want to join has an awesome pastor, and is just getting off it's feet. I'm excited about the possibility of helping to develop a parish. On the downside, however, once they get their own building built (the ground-breaking was this weekend), the church will be in Sienna Plantation, which is quite a ways from us, 30-40 minutes, which is silly when there are probably half a dozen Catholic churches that are closer. That's really the main thing that is holding us back.

Ronnie's mom's cousin died last week, on the 15th (of September). Her name was Paulette, and she has been battling Cancer for many many years. It started out as ovarian cancer, and finally spread to her brain. We attended her rosary and funeral this weekend. It was very sad, but we know Paulette is in a better place. Our hearts and prayers go out to her two daughters, Angela and Allison. As always at a funeral, it was good to see family, especially Ronnie's sister, Sarah, and her two sons, Tanner and Cullen.

On to a better point. In July I joined a "Paranormal investigative group" (yes, a ghost hunter group). I have attended five separate investigations now, and I am really enjoying it. I could write a whole blog about my reflections and experiences, and I think I probably will. The group is called Houston Ghost Town, and they are really good people. Check them out at www. houstonghosttown.com and please let us know if you have any locations that you would like investigated!

The animals are doing well. There for a while Maggie was limping a little bit, but she stopped, and hasn't started again. Dee Dee is doing well, and has been spending a LOT of time inside without any behaviors (that we know of). We have been working on a behavior plan for the Puggies, but we are losing patience with it. I think it needs to be modified, but I am about out of ideas on what to do to modify it. I want to eliminate the pooping in the house behavior.

That's it for now, I think. I hope to write another blog about my ghost adventures in the near future. Feel free to follow me on twitter (bastet325). When I am on an investigation, I enjoy tweeting live. We also broadcast our IR cameras live, and I will tweet that URL...

God's work

So my four year wedding anniversary was this past weekend, Sunday, June 14. Yes, I was married on Flag Day. Anyhow, so four years ago yesterday, me and Ronnie got married on the beach in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. So much has happened in four years, it feels like it was a lifetime ago.

I frequently joke about marriage, telling me unmarried friends "never get married!" but I love my husband to death and would marry him all over if I had it to do over. However, I don't think I would have bothered with the wedding reception.... My parents didn't really dig the destination wedding, and even offered to give us money instead. Four years later, I think I would still go to Jamaica, though. You only get married once (at least I plan on only once), and you should do it the way you want.

Obviously, I have blogged about our financial disability of recent. Ronnie wanted to go out to eat yesterday. Around six or seven, we were having a conversation about it. I didn't want to spend what little money we have (for gas and groceries and so forth) on eating out, so I was trying to convince him that we can choose another day to celebrate this year. He didn't really buy that idea, and the conversation ended without a conclusive plan either way.

Not even ten minutes later, my mom called. This was unexpected as I knew she had gone to the Sunday evening Mass, so I was not expecting her to call. So, she calls, and tells me that she wants to take me and Ronnie out to dinner for our wedding anniversary. I was floored. Seriously, if that is not God's hand in our lives, I don't know what is. So, we debated where to go before decided on the Swinging Door, where we had a delightful, delicious dinner with my mom and her boyfriend.

I think I have blogged here about being worried about Ronnie telling me he doesn't believe in God anymore. I talked to him about it, I think it was after my mom called, but before they got to our house. "Who do you think had a hand in that?" I asked him. "You." He responded. "No," I replied, "I thought about it, but mom had told me earlier that she was going to the Sunday evening Mass, and I couldn't remember whether it was 5:30 or 6:30. No, that was God's hand." He didn't respond, so I continued. "Why else would she have called so soon after we had that conversation?"

I don't know if it has affected him or his faith, but I certainly hope so. God works in mysterious ways. I sincerely believe that our current issues are due to the lack of worship on our parts. I just don't really know how to change that, especially if Ronnie doesn't want to. It's awfully far to the Church I grew up in, but we don't have any roots in any churches closer. I've talked to him about a nearby non-denominational church that several friends as well as family members attend, but Ronnie wants a Catholic church. I need to find us a Catholic parish and remember their Mass times on Sunday.

I will do better in the future. In fact, I will look them up right now and print it out....

It's Friday

I wonder why companies even have employees stay at work on Friday afternoons. It's not like anyone does anything (unless they can't help it -- for example, when I interviewed children, if there were children there, I HAD to interview them, regardless of whether I felt like actually working).

I guess technically I haven't been terribly productive all day, not just this afternoon. I did some filing, I did some shredding, I made a couple of phone calls, and I spent some time getting a pep talk from my boss. You would THINK maybe she gave me a pep talk because she wants more work out of me, but that's not the case. She gets plenty of work out of me, it's just a down time right now.

So why is it some people are so exasperating? I hate it when anyone talks about me behind my back, regardless of whether they are saying I am a skank or that I look pretty today. I don't like it. There is someone in my life right now who was rude to me, and now she is mad at me. I am a little puzzled by it all. Is it because I got tired of being treated that way and told her "if you're going to be like that you can just leave" my office? Is it because someone I have no respect for and no use for told her some lies? I think she just resents me. I'm not sure why, but I have some theories. Before this all blew up, whenever she would make a "remark" to me, it always tasted resentful to me.

So what should I do about it? Frankly, I have lost respect her and now have no use for her personally as well. But, she is someone I work with, and I don't think it will be completely possible to completely disregard her. My boss tells me to kill her with kindness. But it's hard to kill someone with kindness when they completely disregard your existence. So, do I sit down with her and "talk" about it? Ugh, please, gouge out my eyes with a dull, rusty spoon.

Today at lunch I actually talked to her. We were watching All My Children (which I solely watch in order to make fun of it), and this one girl's son is having heart surgery, and she is at home in bed explaining to her older son that she has too many "toys" and she doesn't know which one to choose (i.e. men). Ridiculous! So I said "What kind of mom would be in bed at home when their son is having heart surgery? NAME, what do you think?" She grumbled some response. I have no idea what it was, but that doesn't matter. It was very anxiety provoking for me to do that at all, and look, I did it!

I also learned this morning she told my boss something I had told her in confidence. I have been wanting to tell my boss, but could just never find the words. So, suspecting that she had gone and blabbed about it, I just told her this morning, and she told me that she did indeed tell her, but only about 3-4 weeks ago, when she has known about it for a while. Puzzling. I don't know how I feel about that. I have been wanting to tell Vickie (my boss), but I didn't know how, so I wasn't angry that she knew. But, it wasn't this other person's information to give, and that kinda upsets me. It was my place to tell people, not hers.

There's been a bunch of other drama that really upset me this week and even hurt my feelings. I'm over it now. Well, most of it. I've realized that just because you hold yourself up to a certain standard, it doesn't mean other people do. All a person really has is their reputation and integrity, and I worry mine has been tarnished this week through no fault of my own. But, the people who really matter, they don't listen to the smears and padded insults of others, so I don't think I should really waste my energy worrying about it.

I have always been a tomboy, someone who does not "fit in" with a bunch of females. I don't care about my clothes, and I only wear makeup to make my eyes even prettier. I would rather spend my money on gadgets, DVDs, and video games. I'd rather spend my time playing video games or reading Lord of the Rings than gossiping with other women or watching Entertainment Tonight. Unfortunately, I work in a field that is predominantly female, and my need for socialization seems to outweigh my need to isolate myself (both are very strong pulls for me). I wonder, if it would be easier to just cut myself off, and not participate in social activities (where invariably I find myself listening to other conversations as I do not seem to know how to function in a large group), but I always seem to get drawn in. Opposing forces, I suppose. Alcohol always seems to help as well. Self-medication more likely.

If someone else has figured it out, please let me know. I can use all the help I can get. It's too bad people aren't more like my pugs. Or my cats. Or my prairie dogs. Or my flying squirrels. I know how to deal with them. Mostly, you bribe them to like you with their favorite food. Or, any food in the case of my female pug....

They're flying now!

Taken Monday 6/8/2009

Taken Tuesday.

Taken today.

Bird on a wire

Earlier this week, our Psychologist, Brent, discovered a bird's nest with five baby birds under the awning of our building. Conveniently, this nest is right outside his office window....

It has been fascinating this week watching these birds. I am amazed at how much they have grown in just a couple of days. When we first discovered the nest, they each had plenty of room. Now, they are all situated sideways and top of one another. Which made us concerned that they would soon be hopping out of the nest. They are fully covered with feathers, and that is next step of their lives, but we worried about them falling onto the hard (hot!) concrete below!

I brainstormed this idea with my mom, the only bird expert I know. We discussed what the birds looked like and she tried to help me figure out what kind of bird they were (unfortunately, my recollection of the adult bird was not very accurate). I went to take another look, and stopped to ask my boss if they knew what kind of bird it was, only to learn after discussing this for about a half hour with my mom, they already knew the answer! A barn swallow.

Anyhow, back to the problem of the babies falling on the concrete. My mom suggested we put some hay down, but we are all city folk, we don't happen to keep hay laying around. Ok, TECHNICALLY I do have some hay at home, but that is expensive (comparably) hay for my prairie dogs to EAT. I discussed the problem with my brilliant boss, who came up with the fantastic idea of using shredded paper! But, we have a new problem, won't it blow away and make a mess? Again, my boss came up with the solution of putting the shredded paper in a box. So, then I was worried to babies wouldn't be able to hop out, but she suggested a paper box top which is shallow enough, especially with the shredded paper, for them to easily hop out.

Another fascination is to watch the mother and father swoop in and feed these babies. They do it while hovering like a hummingbird, as it's been a while since there was any room for THEM in the nest. They swoop in, somehow choose one of five crying, hungry babies to feed, and fly off just as quickly! For a while, we were concerned that the baby on the far left (whom we named Special Ed) wasn't getting fed. But, eventually he moved over further to the right and got some lunch.

Yesterday I was watching them when one of them did the funniest thing. He turned around, put his tail over the edge of the nest, and pooped OUT of the nest! Incredible! This baby bird has better toileting skills then my four year old pug, Pippin! Of course, this has created a large pile of poop on the concrete below, but there are worse things. Besides, who wants to live in a poopie nest?

The sad thing is, they probably won't be there when we come in on Monday. I think they are growing way to fast to stay in the nest through the weekend. I worry about what will happen to them when they leave the nest. Too big for the nest, but still inadequate fliers, this is the most dangerous part of any bird's life.

I have some pictures we will post. I've learned a lot from these little baby birds.

New Team

So, maybe a month ago, I went to the Wharton County CRCG Meeting. No, I cannot tell you what CRCG stands for, but I can explain the concept. Basically, a bunch of representatives from community agencies get together and brainstorm possible resources or placements for children with behavior problems. While there, I met a lady from the Department of State Health Services, who described several projects they were trying to get off the ground. One of these was a Wharton County Child Fatality Review Team Meeting.

After the meeting, I spoke with her and volunteered for the Child Fatality Review Team. I have a history in the field of child abuse as well as mental retardation/developmental disabilites, and I thought I would be an asset to their team.

She called me back today, and invited me to the next meeting, on June 11th. My schedule was clear, so I accepted. I got permission from my boss (who probably thinks I am crazy for WANTING to be on that kind of team)....

I am super excited! I have always wanted to be on a Child Fatality Review Team! As far as I know, Fort Bend does not have one (although Houston/Harris County does -- Fort Bend might have in the past, and maybe they do now, it's been almost 2 years since I was in the "know."). I doubt that Wharton County will have any "sexy" cases, more likely kids getting hit by a car and discussing the need for a stop sign, but I am excited. It's a great way to network, learn about other resources, and have a chance to make a difference for a child, which is what I am all about.

People often ask me if I miss interviewing children. For a long time, I did. A couple of months ago, I was called to testify in a criminal case in Harris County on a child I had interviewed shortly before leaving the field. When I went downtown and reviewed the recorded interview, I was surprised at my feelings. I was GLAD I didn't do that anymore. All the other times I have reviewed my interviews, I always felt sad that I didn't do that anymore since I was so good at it.

When I left CAFB, it wasn't really my idea to leave the child abuse field. But, I didn't want to work for CPS, and you can imagine the demand for "Child Forensic Interviewers." I interviewed with Harris County's CAC, and got pretty far in the process, but they didn't pick me.

Anyhow, I have missed working with children (if not interviewing them), and I have missed that feeling that I am making a difference for a CHILD. This opportunity will allow me to get that feeling again, and I am super stoked!

Things that irritate me....

Ok, be prepared. This is probably going to be long....

• Stupid people
• Stupid questions (yes, there is such a thing)
• Nosy people
• People who think they are smart but are not
• Theresa after the Rod Ryan show
• Confrontation
• People who do not appreciate subtlety
• People who take our their frustrations on other people
• People who do not respect animals
• People who do not respect the environment
• Flat out lies
• People who stick with their flat out lies
• Bill O'Reilly
• When you have to show someone how to do the same thing multiple times
• People who need help with everything
• People who cannot do anything on their own
• People who cannot make decisions
• People who think they need a significant other to have a complete life
• Hunting
• Hunters who think they are conservationists
• People who do not realize Texas/Texans are better than they are
• When my DVDs are not in alphabetical order
• People who treat kids like they are stupid just because they are kids
• People who do not take any interest in technology
• Movies that ruin the book
• When you can tell something is CG at a movie
• The ads that tell you not to talk during movies
• People who do not understand alternative music
• People who call alternative music noise
• Providers who call me for referrals
• When the security guard at the RSS makes me sign in
• When the security guard at the RSS gives me a VISITOR PASS
• People who always have to respond to every little thing on your facebook
• People who put themselves ahead of their kids
• People who don't listen
• People who talk too much
• Inconsistency
• People who try to manipulate me
• Apple/Mac brand
• Wal-Mart
• Two-facedness
• Backstabbing
• Lack of loyalty
• Firewalls that block the websites you visit

Reconciliations

Sometimes you have to put your pride aside.

For nearly a year I have had very little contact with my mother. This was my decision. I don't approve of her boyfriend, who has a very shady past, and I have found him to be very manipulative. I will keep it at that as I can write another whole blog on this issue, and I am really trying to get past it.

For nearly a year I have been criticized by just about everyone who I have told about the entire situation. I don't think I was wrong, I stand by my decision and I would still be on that path had I not decided to put my pride aside and reach out to her for help (see previous blog).

Of course, her assistance came with "strings attached."

This made me very angry as I was trying to reach out to her, to put aside my pride, and to repair our relationship. She asked me to do the very thing that had pretty much created this rift in the first place.

So, I put aside my pride, and I put aside my anger (which was infinitely more difficult, especially since I have been off my antidepressant/antianxiety meds for a year and a half) because I NEEDED her help, Ronnie NEEDED her help, we NEEDED her help.

So, she helped us. She gave us enough money to pay our phone bill, so that Ronnie will be able to get a job. She brought us food from her freezer and fresh vegetables from her garden. She took us out to eat on Friday, and then invited us for dinner on Sunday. She asked her neighbor to help us replace our brakes when we couldn't do it ourselves and couldn't afford to pay someone to fix it. She even paid him to do it. She gave us more vegetables from her garden, she gave us pickled peppers, pickles, and sweet pickles.

Our satellite service is still going to be turned off this week. This makes me sad, as one of my favorite shows, HBO's TrueBlood has a second season starting on the 14th, I think. It also makes me sad as I don't know when we will be able to afford to have it reconnected. But, satellite is a luxury we cannot afford right now (although it seems such a waste and an insult to our 62" DLP television). But, we have tons of movies and video games, and can still get the network channels, no matter how ugly the picture is. The other thing I am having to give up is Netflix. My beautiful beautiful Netflix..... I would marry my Netflix if I could, I love it soo.... But then I know that is how Ronnie feels about the Satellite service, so I guess I can survive....

Back to the point, reconciliations with my mom.... It wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I was actually glad to talk to my mom and spend time with her. Pippin was thrilled to see Nana and spend time with her. Maggie was pleased to meet her for the first time. Both Pippin and Maggie loved her vegetable garden, and they both love eating cherry tomatoes from her garden.

My cat, Krycek, still lives there. When I got married and moved out, I couldn't bear to take him away from my brother, whom Krycek still believes hung the moon. I was really sad as I spent hours there, and I hoped he would show up so I could tell him I miss him, but he must be really upset with me. That, or the dogs really had him rattled....

I guess the point I am trying to make is that I think I am glad that I put my pride and my anger aside and have started to rebuild this relationship. Ronnie lost his mother about six months before we met, and I know I am fortunate that she is still in this world. Not everyone is as lucky as me.

Thoughts on Being Broke

You know what? Being broke sucks. I know, nothing you didn't already know. I'm just tired of it. Tired of working and still being broke, not being able to pay bills, juggling which ones are paid, and begging for money from family. Well, technically Ronnie juggles the bill paying, while I do most of the begging for money. I probably have the short end of that stick....

So, what is the problem? We are both intelligent, hard working individuals with Masters Degrees, why is it so hard to get a job, keep a job, and pay our bills?

Well, first of all, it has been nearly two years since both of us were consistently employed at a full time job that paid more than minimum wage. First, I was unemployed (June 2007), then we both were (December 2007), and then I got a job (February 2008), and then Ronnie has worked on and off, nothing too long, and only one job that paid anything close to what he had been paid in the past.

When I finally got a job in February 2008, we were on the brink of losing our house. We didn't even qualify for bankruptcy (the kind you pay back and can keep your house) because we didn't have enough income. My unemployment had just run out, and Ronnie's was denied as he had quit for medical reasons. I was offered a job with the agency I am with now just in the nick of time to be able to file bankruptcy and save the house. And, pretty much my entire paycheck goes to that, we get maybe $150-$250 per pay period (twice a month) beyond what they take out of my check. But, as along as I am working here, we have roof over our heads. We might not have water or electricity for it, but we have a roof.

So why is it so hard for him to get a job when he is a teacher of all things? I hear this all the time. We all know there's a recession, and layoffs (which is why he lost his full-time position at LifeTime Fitness), but that doesn't really affect the education field, does it? Well, first of all, he had to quit Needville midyear due to his back problems. Then, he got the spinal stimulator and everything was good, but I think schools were wary to hire someone who quit midyear, even if he had a good reason. So then he works at a couple of gyms doing either personal training or operations, and that's when he got laid off due to cut backs. Couple of months later, he gets a PE job at a Houston elementary charter school. Which lasted about a month when he was fired because a kid turned her ankle playing kickball. But not before he hurt his wrist, and it is probably carpal tunnel from all the repeated rolling of balls and tossing pitches, etc. He worked one shift a week at Lifetime Fitness to keep his insurance, which wound up only screwing him when he tried to claim unemployment, as apparently the Texas Workforce Commission considers working eight hours a week "full-time" employment. We should all be so lucky.

So, now schools are hiring teachers and coaches for the 2009-2010 school year, and he's got some good chances at getting a decent position. Unfortunately, our cell phones will probably be turned off any day now, and as that is the only phone we have (plus the numbers that he has applied with), schools will not be able to contact him by phone, and it will make getting a job nearly impossible. Not to mention the other bills we can't pay. And even if he gets hired for a teaching job TODAY, we probably won't see a paycheck until SEPTEMBER.

Anyways, it is just frustrating. There are lots of resources out there for people in our situation, but the salary I get at my job makes it impossible for us to qualify for any assistance. Which is funny, because I make hardly anything, barely enough to pay our bankruptcy/mortgage payment. And it's even more frustrating when TWC tells Ronnie they are denying his benefits and they have to "save" the money for people who need it more. How can someone possibly "need it more" than we do? What an insult.

I try to keep a positive attitude. Things could always be worse, and regardless of what our current crisis is, there is a roof over our heads, and HOPE on the horizon for a better future. But, after nearly two years, it's hard to keep it up. It's hard for someone who grew up never wanting, always having enough, to constantly sacrifice the luxuries in life that I am used to. It's hard to always be begging for money with our most recent sob story, when we are so smart and talented!

It's hard when you ask your husband if he wants to pray with you, and he tells you he doesn't believe in God anymore. I believe everything happens for a reason, and you just have to make things happen, and eventually everything will work out. That's so hard to hear your husband, say, though. And I have no idea how to help him....

Contemplations of a Firewall

So last week, I was in an OUTRAGE that a firewall had been installed on our server which blocked facebook and myspace. I could deal with it as I could still access my applications through a couple of bookmarked applications. I couldn't get into my news feed or my messages, but that was ok with me as I could access those things on my cell phone, but not my applications. So, a day or two later, they must have figured out what I was doing and suddenly those links were blocked as well. I TRIED to get into twitter, and I tried to become a news junkie, and I TRIED to quit facebook cold turkey, but I just didn't have it in me. So, I spent a couple of hours looking for a proxy that worked. I finally found one, although it was slow and didn't recognize ALL the links, it worked well enough. Then, I decided to go to theonion.com, as their humor amuses me, and their news is way better than the real news. It's like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. [Quick Tangent -- My husband discoved this week's Daily Shows were reruns Monday night, and said "I guess I'll have to watch the real news...."] Anyhow, back to theonion.com, I discovered, much to my dismay, that it had been blocked as well. For what possible purpose, I cannot say.

So, I have been coping as best I can. My ISP at home is slow, probably because it's not TECHNICALLY ours (don't tell our neighbors....), and I get frustrated. Well, today, in the middle of doing jobs on Mafia Wars, apparently our esteemed IT department has discovered the need to block proxies, so the one I WAS using no longer works. Neither do another 6 or so I have attempted. I actually have a project I am working on, so I haven't had time to test any more proxies (but yet, I seem to have time to write this blog).

But, here's the point I am trying to make -- Do they really think I will work harder now that they have blocked sites I goof off on? I'm sorry, my mind just doesn't work that way. Instead, it just takes me longer to goof off, because it takes me longer to find a site that amuses me, it takes me longer to find a proxy that work, it takes me longer to figure twitter out, and it takes me a LONG time to facebook on my cell phone (my long nails don't help, and my OCD prevents me from posting anything with typos).

Not to mention, work is not nearly as enjoyable a place to be as it used to be. Sure, the people are still awesome, for the most part, but I feel like I am wasting this perfectly good internet connection, which is so much faster than what I have at home.

I have always said that I work hard so I can goof off. Well, what's the motivation to get things done if I don't have facebook to reward myself with? And if I want to take a quick break and peruse theonion.com? Now, my breaks are twice as long trying to find a site that amuses me. I have started blogging, as that doesn't seem to be blocked (not yet at least), which surely takes more time than facebook, which is all about click click click. See? Now, I'm typing, and again my long nails are interfering and I have to go back and correct stuff.

One more point and then I will sign off.... About a year or so ago, I started using facebook instead of myspace because I recognized that myspace slows down our bladed and causes more problems (plus, I get mad when Internet Explorer crashes). I moved to facebook because it caused less problems. That was my sacrifice for the betterment of the agency.

Apparently that was not enough.....

Reflections on a different job...

During my short drive from the Richmond State School back to my office, I reflected upon the fact that I am rarely "busy" at my current job. This is, of course, keeping in the mind that it has always been nearly impossible for any supervisor I have ever had to keep me busy.

At my first "professional" job, I remember having a strong desire to be "important" to be the person who gets called whenever she is away from the office because the office simply cannot function without her. So, I worked hard, I was efficient and reliable and always ready with a new idea or willing to learn something new.

Until one day, I realized I had succeeded and was that "important" person I had always wanted to be. I didn't even realize I had done it, and I had no idea when it happened. That was when I realized what a mistake I had made. The day I had to leave my husband in the emergency room when he could not walk, in order to return to the office because they could no function without me, I realized I had made a horrible mistake. I had never intended my job to be more important than my family, but that was what my company expected from me.

Skipping the drama, and anger, and more anger, I have a new job. Well, not so new, I have been here for a 1.25 years. My strong work ethic and efficiency has already been recognized (which NEVER happened at my previous job) and I was stolen over to a pseudo-new department within six months. I work hard, I get my tasks done quickly and efficiently, but I have a lot of down time.

Today, someone mentioned to me that my supervisors send me to a particular meeting because I do not have a lot to do. I was a little hurt by this statement, as I have a lot I am responsible for, just not a lot that is going on now, and not a lot that takes up much time for me. I get quite a few "projects" (many of which I volunteer for because I know I can do them, and I know I have the time for them). This got me thinking about all of this, and wondering if I should be worried about job security and so forth. Hence the reflecting.....

I guess the point I want to make is that here at my new job, there will never be a time when there is an emergency enrollment I have to drop everything and come in in the middle of the night to do. I won't be called to an emergency Community Living Options discussion for a family. There won't be a time when I have been home for less than an hour and will be called back for an emergency, only to be yelled at by my boss the next day for simply taking care of it.

You know what? That makes me happy. Or, to quote Bret Michaels, "I likie."